So, it’s been awhile.
Almost a year, apparently.
A lot has happened since then.
But nothing’s changed on my side.
Everything remains the same.
But everything’s changed on the other side.
Everything’s completely different.
Maybe one thing has changed on my side.
That is, I don’t want to forget.
Memory hurts, as always.
But this time, I don’t want to forget.
Let it live, breathe and stay inside.
We should forget.
YOU should forget.
We’ve been like this for almost a hundred of hours!
But I can see that you don’t want to forget.
You said this is your last time right?
That there will be no more like this.
That you will cling to this finale, no matter how ridiculous the situation is.
That you will give your best effort, even though it’s like battling against the rock solid Earth.
That you will believe, despite there is no chance of rainbow.
Well, I can see doubts in your eyes.
That you are doing something you don’t want to do.
Doing things that are outside your comfort zone.
And your face always frowned from the neverending “what-if”s.
For me, you will lose either way.
I don’t want to see you cry. Not again.
But right now you are crying anyway. And I can’t stop you.
I’m really sorry.
Who knew we could ever go back to our beloved Land of the Rising Sun?
We dragged our feet enthusiastically, fully realizing deep inside that it will be almost suicidal for us when it’s time to go home.
Yet we go anyway.
To die or not can be decided later.
Do you know why returning home doesn’t sound too appealing?
Because what I want, is over there.
Miles away from here.
From our home.
I want to go back.
Revisiting those bubbly hundreds of minutes over and over again until I cracked my head.
It’s been playing in my mind like a broken kaleidoscope.
If only I can preserve the time and put it in a music box, I will sing my own lullaby and carved my own box.
What I’m planning to do next could be the most YOLO thing I ever did in my life.
There is no coming back.
No reset button.
After that, it will be the point of no return.
Why am I doing thing that has slim to none chance of success?
Why going into the direction that will crush and won’t return me to our comfort house?
Maybe, because I have no intention of going back, despite of all the bitter consequences.
- December 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- May 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- May 2010
- February 2010